Needs & Values

Self Life Coach Series #2

Know what you value

Our next step is going to take us to 30,000 feet above YOU. Wow, that’s a little different than the unpacking we did with the nitty-gritty in our last exercise, huh?! We will explore your needs & values next.

Ok whether you believe in God or not, you must realize we are all unique and special and that specialness is our purpose. Just imagine all the different sunsets all across the world on any given day. I happen to believe God created the specialness of who we are and this thing we call life but if you have a different view apply your beliefs.

What are your values? Are there traits you were born with? What do you value most? Sometimes values are passed down generation to generation sometimes values appear specifically in an individual.

The coolest thing is about to happen… you are going to come up with answers to the next step that NO ONE ELSE EVER has come up with. You are completely unique and you are super special. Your combination of values are as individual as your fingerprint.

What are Values

Values are according to Websters, “ Something intrinsically valuable or desirable to an individual. They are beliefs, qualities, or philosophies that are meaningful to an individual so much so the person is willing to shape their lives and actions to live by them.”  You will jot down what matters most to your heart, your God-given gifts, your life calling. Just free flow again, there are no right or wrong answers here, only who you are.  I’m not even going to give you examples at this point because I just really want you to come up with what matters to you. Just remember these are qualities, ideas, principles, purposes, NOT things.

Step 1- Write down what you value

Breathe in, spend some quiet time with this one and don’t stress over it. Ok grab your workbook and start jotting down what values matter to you. Not things, values on page 3.

Step 2- Pick values from the list

Ok, in case you didn’t think of all the qualities you truly value, I’ll help you articulate them. Here is a list of common values. I didn’t give them to you to start because it is very common for people to discover more about themselves from within. Go through this list (page 4 in the workbook) and first mark each that you value or that resonates with you.

• Accomplishments/results
• Accepted
• Achievement
• Accuracy
• Adventure/excitement
• Aesthetics/Beauty
• Affection
• Altruism
• Autonomy
• Beauty
• Care
• Certainty
• Challenge
• Clarity
• Comfort
• Commitment
• Community
• Completion
• Connecting/bonding
• Creativity
• Directness
• Emotional Health
• Envionment
• Freedom
• Friendship
• Fun
• Harmony
• Honesty
• Humor
• Importance
• Integrity
• Intelligence
• Intimacy
• Joy
• Kindness
• Leadership
• Learning
• Love
• Loyalty
• Openess
• Outgoingness/extravert
• Perfection
• Perseverance
• Personal Growth
• Mastery/excellence
• Meaning
• Orderlieness/organization
• Nature
• Partnership
• Peace
• Power
• Privacy/solitude
• Productivity
• Quietness/introvert
• Recognition/acknowledgement
• Resilience
• Risk taking
• Romantic/magic
• Security
• Self-expression
• Sensuality
• Serenity
• Service/contribution
• Simplicity
• Spirituality
• To be known/seen
• Tradition
• Trust
• Vitality/health
• Wealth

step 3- Narrow down your values

Next you need to narrow your long list of values down. If it is helpful compare your picks to each other and keep picking one over another til you have 15-20. Then keep going narrowing them down or combine words  (to make one more specific to you) and keep doing that til you have your top 10 and whittle down some more to your top 5. Write these on page 5 in your workbook.

step 4- Your needs

Now take a deeper look at these 5 values and decide which ones YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT- decide which one or two are actually not just something you value but something you NEED to live. For example I know Aesthetics/beauty is one of my highest values and a deep need of mine. I constantly notice beauty and the lack of all around me. Not beauty in the sense of “pretty” and perfect, although pretty is good too, but I mean intrinsic beauty. I can say I “need” it because if it wasn’t in my life, I think I would be so so sad. Anyway, this isn’t about me… pick what you NEED in your life- from the day you were born. This is digging deep. Think of it like, you need food & water, shelter & clothing and then ______ , What is this for you?

step 5- Record your findings in your workbook

Wow, were you surprised by your top values? Or anything in this process? Take note of what stirs in your heart as you do these exercises and write it down on the back of your workbook pages. I prefer to look at my scratched out copy of where I whittled down my top picks. If you do this process again another year, you may want to see as things evolve for you. Isn’t it powerful to know your NEEDS vs Values?! And to know your top 5 & 10 values too- this is super helpful and I’ll teach you how to maximize how you utilize these top values in the coming lessons.

NEXT Self Life Coach Series 3: Gifts & Talents

PREVIOUS Self Life Coach Series 1: Clean Slate (Brain Dump)